Most parents think of giving any type of praise as an instant motivation boost. But that's not always the case when it comes to children.
In fact, several studies have found that when teachers give feedback to students, they convey messages that affect the students' opinions of themselves and how capable — or incapable — they are of academic achievement.
And as a child psychologist, I've found that certain types of praise can do more harm than good to a child's independence, learning drive, self-confidence and resilience.
How praise impacts your child's mindset
Carol Dweck, a psychologist and professor at Stanford University, has been studying the impact of praise>Focus more>When parents praise the process, and not the outcome, kids are more likely to develop a growth mindset.CNBC Make It
The goal is to support your children's learning strategies and show them how those strategies can lead to success.
Imagine two kids>Teach that failure creates opportunity
To further support your child's development of a growth mindset, move your sole focus away from their accomplishments and steer the same level of attention towards their imperfections.
Encourage them to recognize, accept and overcome their "weaknesses." Remind them that they have the tools and support to grow in the ways that they want to.
Let's say your child failed his math test twice in a row. Instead of responding with "well, this is disappointing" or "you're not studying hard enough," react to his failure as though it's something that can enhance his learning.
Talk through questions like: "What is this teaching us?" "What should we do next?" "Maybe we can talk to your teacher about how you can learn this better?" This way, your child can come to understand that abilities and skills are not limited; They can be cultivated, and doing so can be a fruitful and wonderful experience.
Children who value learning and effort know how to make and sustain a commitment to their goals. They are not afraid to work hard, and they know that meaningful tasks involve setbacks. These are the lessons that will serve them well in life.
