"How are you?" These are the three most useless words in the world of communication. The person asking doesn't really want to know, and the person responding doesn't tell the truth. What follows is a lost opportunity and meaningless exchange with zero connection.
But the key to making the most out of small talk, according to Harvard researchers, is to simply ask the other person follow-up questions. In a series of experiments, researchers analyzed more than 300>1. Use the A.C.T. trick to start a connection
When was the last time you were in a meeting that didn't start with small talk? It's a natural way for people to connect. Start with a question that will build up to a conversation that meets the A.C.T. criteria:
- A – There's uthenticity
- C – There's a onnection
- T – There's a topic that will give themaste of who you are
Some of those questions might be:
- "What's your current state of mind?"
- "What are you looking forward to this week?"
- "You remind me of a celebrity, but I can't remember which>2. Move beyond the "hourly update"
The fallback for a lot of people is like the newscast "hourly update" — traffic, sports, weather and so>3. Be in the moment and observe your surroundings
Open your eyes before you open your mouth. Find something to focus data-test=”Pullquote”>Open your eyes before you open your mouth.Gary BurnisonCEO, Korn Ferry
Let's say you're talking to the CEO of a large, iconic company who is about to retire, and you noticed a row of empty boxes along the wall of the CEO's office. You might start with the question, "How hard is it for you to leave this job?" This will lead to a much deeper and more emotionally revealing discussion, and it never would've happened had you not noticed those boxes.
